Parting Wisdom

This past week, I spent a couple of days in Tennessee with most of my immediate family, mourning the passing of my 21-year-old nephew Gerhard Aaron Hummelt. I wasn't going to write about it -- many of the details are private and should be kept so -- but every time I sat down over the past few days to post an entry here, my mind wandered back to this topic and I seem unable to write about anything else at the moment.

I mentioned in my previous post that my nephew had gotten himself into trouble in recent years, and that he was working to put his life back in order. What I didn't really mention were the positive memories I have of him growing up, memories that were brought back in full force when I saw the slide show of photos from his life that was being played at the memorial service. In those photos, he was nearly always smiling, always in the company of his brother and (later) his sister, always excited and energized and happy to be with his family. My memories of him were the same. His energy and exuberance could be a bit overwhelming at times, but he always loved spending time with his family, doing things together. 

There were times when my parents brought all three of my sister's children up to Massachusetts for vacations, and I always got a phone call at those times. "Uncle Roger," Gerhard would ask, "are we going to see you while we're in Boston?" Sometimes, the answer was yes and sometimes it was no, depending on how busy my life was at the time, and what commitments I already had. On those occasions when I couldn't make it, Gerhard was never judgmental. A little sad that I wouldn't be joining them, he nonetheless expressed a genuine hope that I'd be able to join them the next time around. 

I am ashamed to admit that I rarely looked forward to visiting with my sister's children when they were up this way. (And Michelle, if you read this, I am really sorry about that. Your kids are great. This was my shortcoming, and my loss.) Now that Gerhard is gone, I'm dealing with a bit of personal guilt. I'll never have the chance to make it up to him, but I can change my own behavior going forward. I can learn to focus on the positive, and I can make the most of the opportunities to spend time with my family that come my way. Heck, I can go out of my way to make those opportunities.

In his 21 years on this earth, Gerhard was an inquisitive soul. His thirst for knowledge was unquenchable, and he was always eager to learn. In his untimely departure from this earth, Gerhard taught me that I cannot take family for granted. It's important to make the most of each chance to be together, for there will not always be a next one.