In Threes

I have heard it said that bad things happen in threes. (I think I've also heard it about good things, but this isn't the week for that, apparently.) I realize that bad things (and good) are happening all the time, but I'm pretty sure the saying is in relation to events with a personal impact. This week, the Universe seems to have decided to reaffirm the triplicity of unfortunate occurrences.

On Wednesday, Tiffany Zellin passed away after a month-long battle with a brain tumor. Tiffany was a new friend, someone I met while part of a production of Cinderella. She was only 30 and just starting a family with her husband Lou. I didn't know her very well, but she always struck me as a vibrant person, full of life and willing to take guff from absolutely no one. The circumstances of her death are truly tragic, and her passing will have a large impact on the ACT Andover family, as she and her husband were part of it for so long. I can't imagine what Lou is going through -- I'd be a useless wreck if I lost my wife -- but my thoughts and wishes go out to him.

Very late Thursday night, Billy Day died after two weeks in the intensive care unit following a nasty fall down a set of stairs that left him with broken ribs, punctured lungs, and a number of other fractured bones. He was a step-uncle, married to my step-mother's sister. He was in his mid-to-late 60's (and it strikes me as sad that I don't know exactly), and I've known him for the past 30 years. He was an incredibly dedicated husband and a fun guy at  parties, always quick with a joke and a laugh, always helping to lighten the mood. My stepmother and her whole family have been standing vigil at the hospital ever since he was admitted, and they're devastated by his loss. I am sad that despite various opportunities, I didn't get to know him better.

In the small hours of Friday morning, Gerhardt Hummelt died in a fire. Trapped in a small living space attached to a barn, he was unable to escape the fire that started while he slept, though he was able to call 911 to summon emergency services to deal with the fire before it spread to the nearby house. He was my nephew, and he was only 21. He'd been through some rough patches and had gotten himself into trouble with the law a couple of times, but he was working hard to get his life back on track. It looked like he was making real progress there. My sister is devastated by the loss of her son, and my mother (who lives just down the road from her) is a wreck. I am stunned by the suddenness of it and saddened that I won't get to see what kind of man he managed to make himself into. This morning I have been playing back my memories of him as a child and as a teenager.

Is there sense to be made of these events or the timing of them? Or is the desire for sense just an artifact of being human and grappling with these losses? Any one of these deaths would be trying, but three in rapid succession boggles the mind a little bit. Some people seek strength in God, but as an agnostic that is not my way. I find my strength within, reflecting on how I knew these people who are now gone, thinking about how I might have known them better, and trying to draw on those thoughts to be closer to the people in my life.

I don't know what awaits us beyond death, but if there is some sort of paradise or reward, I hope that Tiffany, Billy and Gerhardt are having a great time there, free from their earthly cares and relieved of the pain they suffered. We who are still here will remember them fondly, share stories about them at gatherings of family and friends, and keep them in our hearts. We won't forget them, and in that respect they will never be gone.

In the meantime, the Universe can go suck an egg.